Farewell, Dear Friend.

(EGO) from Leevi Lehtinen on Vimeo.

There you are. You've been gone a while. Where have you been? Atleast in these times, when the body couldn't even step out, here you are, looking all fresh, as if you have just discovered a hidden waterfall that no one in the world has a clue of. What took you so long? This has been an excrutiating wait. It's as if a best friend leaving you without quite telling you why, only to come back and the conversation taking up from exactly you left off. But, well, here you're now. Tell me, how have you been?

Tell me about your adventures - through the forests and to the mountains, their snake-like roads leading you to the sea, perhaps? Or did you hitch-hike your way through the dusty roads of the countryside, where nothing grows except disappointments and hurt? You look a little sun-burnt, your eyes look a bit too worn out. This smile that you have, the one that you took away from me without quite telling me, I have waited for you to return the same. Your hair has grown, dancing along with the beads of sweat that drip over your forehead. You seem calm, as always. So, tell me - where the hell have you been?

Tell me about your friends - did you make new ones? How about the old ones? Are the new ones like the ones you and I have made all our lives? Do they wait for you to text them first or do they proactively check up on you? Did you count them like I count my blessings? Have you crossed single digits? Where are they from? Where are they now? Are they happy where they are, not worried about where they want to be? They seem cool. 

Oh! I've been great without you. It's been a journey inwards. I realized I could live without you, taking every single day with its own set of challenges. I found that without you, I could survive. No wait, I could live. Yes, perhaps live, not survive. I realized that I don't need to call you, run to you and load you up with whatever problem that I am facing right now, only to be told that I am right (even when I am not) and everything is going to be alright (even though it won't). I have learnt to apologize a lot, because I realized that without you, mistakes suddenly became too apparent, too in-my-face for me to run away from. And where would I have run to? You were gone!

So, while the world still celebrates you, some making you in charge of their lives, some running to you when they should rather be stoping wherever they are and take a hard look away from you, I won't be. Since the time you've left me, I have grown, immensely, unapologetically, happily. So, no. I hope you won't stay for long. Perhaps you will have another adventure that calls for you and I hope you will give it a listen. So, farewell, ego. I wish you the life you gave me, when you left me. 

Or, was it the other way around? 


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