Is It Really Worth It?

'On Melancholy' - The School of Life from Hannah Jacobs on Vimeo.

Through the silence in between the words and through the disappointing glares of so many, you may have asked yourself this question, or worse, forgotten to. They have marched on, leaving you with a shattered thought of hopelessness, like a dinghy lost in the sea, lost in the silence between the words and you hope and pray to find the answers and find your salvation. There are so many things that are running through your mind that you are oblivious, oblivious of the very root of the problem that has taken you down the path you never wished you had set foot on. And yet, here we are, through the nothingness of cold winter and a stiffling summer, trying to find answers.

Is it really worth it? The anger that burns through you and the disappointment that fills every crack in your body? Is it really worth it, the lie that you hear from someone you love, loved. They go on and take you on an adventure and you know where it leads. Is it really worth it? 

Is it really worth the sleepless nights, when the only company is the hypnotic rotation of the fan. There are so many who want to hear you but you smile as there ain't one to listen. There are so many who want to talk to you but you smile as there ain't one who'd share. And you'd do what then? Would you be of any good? Would you tell them that you are in pain, a pain so disappointingly haunting that you seem to have unlocked a different nightmare altogether? 


There are so many questions you will never find an answer to. And that's alright, I guess. For living beyond the silence of those words is the right way to live, I suppose. 

Is it really worth it? Was it really worth it? Yes. Everything was. The walk in the rain, the late night texts, the promises, the dreams you two sewed together. It was worth it, the stolen kiss in the movie theatre, the way you two pulled each other closer in the busy mall, not caring about the world, about the society, for that moment was truly yours. Everything was worth every fucking way, the good-byes, that final one too. Sometimes, the silence did get overwhelming, after all, it was a brilliant storm. 

There would be a day when you'd be a better person, a person out of the shadow that haunts you to this day. All you need to do is to just shed some light and everything will be alright. Have faith and gratitude towards everything and everyone who comes and leaves, and you'd have made yourself a better person. It has been a rough ride, one with so many avoidable good-byes, but for all its worth, it was one hell of a ride. 

And thanks to so many, there are so many new faces now. There is a new beginning yet again. Agreed, many of them will leave, some will stay for some more time and in time they will leave too. But the sheer brilliance of these shared moments will keep the light burning for years to come and no matter what happens, happiness would have found its way like a sweet summer song through the lips of your beloved.


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