Have I Loved You Enough?

I don't know anything about you. I see you everyday, through the pages of my journals, in the photographs that you so hated to take but took anyway. I don't know how you are, where are you. I don't know how this happened, this thing that makes me go back to you like the very death we are so desperately trying to avoid but have to face up to, anyway. I don't know what's the first thought that runs through your mind when you get up in the morning, and open your window to the world. 

I don't know whether you are happy or dead inside. Have I loved you enough?

Like a secret folder of our memories, I keep you hidden deep within me, like a regret I don't want the world to know of. Like a smile I'd cherish so much that I'd keep it to myself, lest the world judges me for it. I am careless, I believe and most importantly, I am free, when I see you and me together, sharing this happy moment, even when I know that particular moment, and it has, like a candle, shone a brief but a bright light.

What Is True Love?

It's not just when you never miss a chance to tell her how beautiful she looks. It's never when she is the first person on your mind when you feel like sharing your thoughts, your pain and your hope with someone. It's not just when the last person in your thoughts is your love. It's not when you get those kisses when you least expect them. It's not just when you know what's running through her mind even without her knowing about it.

It's when you forego the need to tell her how much you love her. That is exactly how much you should love her. You know it's true love, the rarest kind when you are too confident on someone for a friendship that's life long, come what may. When you have a partner and someone you are ready to take care of no matter what happens to her. It's when you are happy when she is there and when she is not there, physically, because she is always in your mind. 

It's when you have a nightmare and you still keep going, thinking about the person at the end of it all. You know she is waiting somewhere out there, out there in the cold, waiting for you to come to her and embrace her with all her sorrows. This embrace, the one that you so look forward to, melts your sorrows with hers and you are one.

Have you loved someone enough to lose the very meaning of your self? When, of all the problems and disappointments that plague your life, you find her one smile to be the vanquisher of them all? Thankfully, there is this one person out there, someone who has her own daemons, waiting for yours to clash with hers. And in that battle of your daemons, you shall embrace each other and look as the night sky shall be brilliantly lit with a thousand fireworks and your nightmare will hopefully, one day, end.

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