But, I Love You


I have always loved you. From the moment I bumped into you and from the moment the crowded city suddenly felt numb, I have loved you. From the first kiss and the first walk down the lanes of sheer unaltered happiness, I have loved you. I have fallen in love with you every time you woke up in my arms, your body twitching and curling around mine, as I burst through my nightmare. When, you lost your cool and crashed in my arms, sobbing, holding me tight as your inner child came out, I fell in love with you.

From the first tea together and every date that followed, when I’d see the entire cityscape burst through your eyes, I fell in love with you. From your careful selection of shoes to the time you took to do your eyes, I fell in love with you. I have loved you for the thousand moments you were with me and I love you more for the millions you showered me with. I have loved you for the journey you promised and the journey you gave me instead.

New people, new faces, new hope, new life, new experiences, I love you for gifting me these without me even expecting them. There are endless moments that have happened and I wanted them with you. But, I love you for not being where I don’t need you. I loved you when you said you loved me and your lips curled up just like your body curled up to mine every time we made love. I loved you even as you said you loved me when your lips remained straight.

I loved you when you had all the time in the world for me and when you didn’t, anymore. But, I love you.

Remember, that walk by the lake on a stifling summer evening, when our shadows, cast by the dimming lights of the halogen bulbs of the dying city, were so close when they felt one? I fell in love with you then. Remember, when I held your fingers and they danced with mine? I do.

I love you for crashing into me like the storm of a thousand years. I love you for all the goodness you showered on me with. There were moments I gave up hope, happiness and peace. Somehow, your eyes and your soul got me through the day. I'd be tired, angry, too angry to be tired, yet I didn't give up on us. Like a cancer that I nestled in myself, I stayed put in your thoughts. I got busier, thinking the days and nights away from your thoughts were now impossible. It got me no where. Like a storm that implodes within, I got angrier as the clouds just refused to go away. But, I love you more for the monster that you created, a monster so precious, so vicious, it hasn’t found peace since. I love you for the monster I forgot I was, but one that I was nevertheless.

But, I love you for the walks I sometime take in this new city, thinking the great life ahead, one without you.

I love you, but. 
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  1. Romantic post......I love you but ? ...In Malayalam we say ' Ishtamanu, pakshe '....

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  2. Happiness fills your life, you do not need anyone else but yourself, happiness does not depend on third parties inspower.co/truly-happy/ know more and find out if you are really happy.

    ReplyDelete

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